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Two_Track_Mind
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Name: Allie
Country: United States
State: Pennsylvania
Birthday: 7/7/1991
Gender: Female
Interests: umm boys, busted, IM, mcfly, harry potter, boys, rupert grint, music, boys, acting, and ummm boys. :D
Message: message me
Member Since:
10/24/2004
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| ok so ricardo told me to make a new entry. however, i feel like if i get started talking about all the ridiculous things that have been going on lately, first of all some people would find out things they're not supposed to know, and second of all i would never stop. however i will try to keep some things in... and stop.
first of all, its only like the fourth or fifth week of school and already i feel swamped with friend problems and school problems. well actually, the school problems arent so bad. its just that stupid APUSH project that stressed everybody out kinda has me freaked for the rest of the year. i mean, if that was something assigned in the second week of school, whats the rest of the year gonna be like?? and who knows if they did well on it?? i mean, mr gilligan is crazy and didnt really make it clear what he wanted... but im sure we all did fine. anyway. the friend problems are worse at the moment. i guess. i mean, one of them i cant talk about here... heehee sorry. but ive already complained to ricardo about it so im sure you dont mind, sweetie. the second one i dont really wanna go into in great detail, but what kind of person gets a relationship and seven months later is still so obsessed and ridiculously "in love" that they still have forgotten about their friends??? WHAT THE HELL??? URRRRRG. i hate teenagers. i mean honestly. and i dont care what everybody says (especially since its always teenagers who are saying it) teenagers are not mature enough to be "in love". it just does not work at this age. no matter how mature someone seems to be, its not possible to be in that big movie "I LOVE YOU" love until like 19-20 ish or something like that. of course, teens can have strong feelings of whatever, liking or crushes or whatever, but its not love. its just not. and thats what pisses me off the most. when 16 year olds are all "oh we're in love and we'll be together forever!". i wanna puke. its even worse when younger people do it. for gods sake. get over yourselves. gah.
and i still have to do this obnoxious english essay. I HATE MY LIFE. im sorry, i must be fun to listen to right? i just dont have anything fun to say right now. theres nothing fun going on. blurrrrgh. maybe when there is i'll be back. i hate not being happy. its no fun. dammit. when does the fun start? | | |
| BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM I WANT YOU IN MY ROOM!!! i have officially had that song stuck in my head for a week now. which is sad. REALLY sad. but do you know what is not sad? the fact that i tricked my mom into getting me another dress for soph hop!! actually i didnt really trick her... because we didnt actually buy me one in the first place. i had one for my cousins wedding that i was going to wear, but it is rather low so my mom is kinda like OKNEWDRESSGOOD. so. yes. it is wonderful. and i swear this one is going to be a color. no more black dresses for allie. i could show up in PINK for all you people know. now that'd be weird.... i am not a very pink person... oooer. maybe purple is better.... or an aquamarine color? ok thats enough of that. no more speaking of colors. i will buy the dress that looks best... as long as it is NOT black. ok? ok. ahem. but other than that i am a sad and pathetic person. actually... thats not true, i am an extremely happy and pathetic person. does that make any sense? who cares. the fact is, i have had a very awful case of the cosmic horn (aka being attracted to anyone and everyone) and it is rather hilarious. pathetic, but hilarious. im like OOOOH BOYYY YESSSS!! even if that boy happens to not be very attractive. of course, im not going OOOH BOYY YESS maintenant because i am in my house, where there are no boys, just my sister and my mom and my moms two friends (my dad and brother are out... not that id think that around them because well... thats incest... duh). also i have been reading georgia nicolson (could you tell, theresa?), yes, for about the 50thousandth time. but they are good books! and they make me laugh really hard and not feel so bad about my stupid boy problems/ boy problems ive had in the past month or two because hers are absolutely hilarious. and also weird. wow i am being extremely rambly today... must be those books. anyway. i need a dress. and a hero. but at the moment mostly a dress, i can hold out for a hero for a little longer (just a little... and then we might need some makeout therapy... which could get to be a problem seeing as i dont have much choice of boys to hook up with.... blurrrgh!! anyway so yes... oh wait im still in parenthesis). ok im gonna go now. BYE BYE p.s. IM AWAY LAUGHING ON A FAST CAMEL HAHAHA!! p.p.s not really, i wish.but i am still laughing, haha!! | | |
| .... i just made a very interesting realization. actually, that would be a lie, i made this realization many moons ago, its just now that ive decided to share it with the world (and by that i mean the people who read my xanga). i am an attention whore. there, it's that simple. except it's not. you see, i'm not the kind that falls all over everyone all the time and everyone says, "omg shes such an attention whore" oh no. im such a closet attention whore that i didnt even know i was one until... well until i realized that i was. but seriously, it's weird. cuz like, its not that i show it, its just i get upset if i feel like im not getting enough attention, which sounds SO selfish and retarded and.... doubly retarded. and it upsets me, but at the same time, what can i do about it?? if im ever really obvious like PAY ATTENTION TO ME PAY ATTENTION TO ME!! please let me know, because i cant stop myself from thinking i need attention, but i CAN stop myself from acting upon the urge. and ive also realized, if i do act upon the urge, i'm sneaky about it. i dont throw myself onto people (well i do sometimes, but i'm not talking about my really close friends who i can throw myself all over and they dont care), well no now i have lost my train of thought and have no idea what im talking about. pretty much all i wanted to say was that i am an attention whore and feel slightly bad about it. but not as bad as i should... because if i felt worse i would probably try to help it more. but if i wasnt at least a little bit of one, would i get attention?? i mean, everyone likes attention, so does that mean everyone has an attention whore inside them?? think about that. next thing, the fam and i just got back from visiting colleges. the colleges were ok, the trip was not. it was full of long car rides, weird little towns and rain and cold. i got so wet today, its not even funny. but that wasnt the point. the point was that now im worried. i mean, i get good grades, i do some extra curriculars, but its so hard to get into these places that its like AAARGH!! and my sister is worried, which gets me worried, because she gets better grades and does more extra curriculars and got an effing 2340 on her SATs. actually, she shouldnt be worried at all, shes just retarded. but the other thing is, there are so many applicants that have good grades and do extra curriculars, the process can be daunting. you never know whats gonna happen!! and i loved yale. i absolutely loved it. it was beautiful, and interesting, and fun, but now i dunno if i can get in... i mean, you know? so many accomplished kids, not so many spots. anyway, i just had to get it out, because its not really something i have to worry about for another year, so i just wanted to get it out there then forget about it. not like i can, with sam and all... *sigh* the lady at the harvard information session today said "human beings dont like uncertainty". this may be the smartest thing anyone has said to me in awhile. i cant stand it. uncertainty, i mean. and really, who can?? she was talking about the application process, but really it applies to everything. especially people. i mean, people like to know where they stand with other people, and sometimes thats hard to find out, and people get really upset and confused. if you dont know how someone feels about you, you dont know how to feel about them. people are quite strange. as are relationships. as ive said before, maybe i should just hole myself up like a hermit with a tv and chocolate and never see anyone again. life would be much less confusing. but much more chocolate-full and fattening.... decisions, decisions... | | |
| i hate boyyyyys!!! im not good anymore! they confuse me, then act awkward, then dont act awkward, then ignore me, then make crosses on my head, then ignore me again! WHAT??? i know that didnt make sense, because it doesnt make sense to me either. and the worst part is if i didnt like him so much i wouldnt care that he's extreeeemely bipolar. but i do. i care a lot. and i shouldnt!! because i know that its really because he's moody and bipolar, and that its not my fault, but i cant help thinking that it is partly my fault. i guess its not. i dunno. so i think what im gonna do now is not initiate any conversation, any hugging, any contact at all. i'm gonna be as cold to him as he is to me. thats the worst part!!! i dont think i CAN act as bipolar to him as he does to me. im just not capable. i like him too much. i hate life. but i will try to ignore him as much as i can. hopefully i'll be more successful than i think i'm going to be.... | | |
| WHAT IS MY PROBLEM!!!!???? i must not have liked red as much as i thought because one minute i'm crying over him, and the next i'm like OH HELLO NEW BOY!!! hahah!!! but i dont hate this one, in fact, i dont even know if i like this one. he's just pretty damn adorable. so i'm good. | | |
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